Trent Reznor vs. Tori Amos:

Sigh. Tis such matches those cheap made-for-tv movies are based on. Let’s start off with a comparison of their careers, shall we?

Trent:

Tori:

Is the god of fuck

got fucked by Trent

Is classified as "a hot artist"

is classified as "a hot piece of ass,"

Is hailed as the pioneer of industrial.

Is hailed as whining about industry.

Has the 11th most influential album of the 90’s

has an album.

Is also a hot piece of ass.

Believes in fairies.

Now that we have things in the proper perspective, let’s take a look at Tori Amos’ new album, "To Venus and Back", a double cd with both new and live material. First, the album of live music. Sadly, it’s her music, so it still sucks. But it is her playing music, or so it seems. The album of new material, is, sadly, still her. One wonders how she plans to sell anything.

Reznor’s magnum opus, on the other hand, is a cumulation of 5 years of intensive labor and soul-searching. With his new anthems such as "starfuckers, inc," and "we’re in this together", it’s almost assured that a new generation of headbanging goth kids will result. Go Trent.

In closing, I’d like to dedicate a couplet to my pal Reznor.

I’m not gay, but if I switch/

I want Trent to be my bitch.

 

Thanks.

The capitalist pig.